Thursday, December 31, 2009

Happy New Year!

One of these days, I really, really am going to transfer all the posts from my old blog here. Really. And I'm really, really going to start posting again. Though regular posting might have to wait until summer when I have more brain cells to spare, since I have a writing intensive semester coming up.

B & T are doing great. They drive me nuts. Would you believe that next year T will be in MIDDLE SCHOOL?! T is in the gifted program at school. I had no idea that a kid could talk his way in, but he did. His IQ was 1 point less than the threshold. The kid NEVER shuts up. And he never does his homework unless I hold the game systems hostage. I don't know how many times I've threatened the life of the playstation and Wii. And since Christmas, we now have an XBox 360 to threaten. (Or steal. He got a very cool zombie game I really want to play when they are at school just so I don't humiliate myself with my lack of skillz)

B has been definitively diagnosed with cerebral palsy and his legs are getting more and more crooked. Something Must Be Done Soon. What, I have no idea. B is definitely smarter than T, but he flunked the IQ test, probably because his physical challenges slow him down. Plus he's a bit of a space cadet. His hearing was tested, like mine was when I was little, with the same results. He's not deaf, he's ignoring us.

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

Tyler's latest bedtime delay tactic

Tyler waltzed into my room about 10:30 pm and started watching tv, like it's ok to do that on a school night. I told him to go to bed NOW!!!! He turns to me and says in his babiest voice, "Can't a little boy get a hug and a kiss from his mommy?" :\

Of course he got a hug and a kiss. I don't know what little boy he was talking about since he's 10 years old and weighs well over 100 lbs... about 40 lbs more than his twin brother.

Friday, November 06, 2009

I still want a fruit bat or two as pets

I've wanted one since I saw those cute flying puppies with five foot wingspans at Animal Kingdom. They have so much wing, and such cute faces. I was reminded of them at one of my current fave blogs, FU Penguin by this post and this picture.

I think a dozen or so fruit bats in the house, plus a coffin with native earth should scare off any burglars. And potential girlfriends for the twins. And invading Florida-visiting-relatives. And best of all, any potential future ex-husbands.

My Brettypie

A couple of days ago, Brett was going down the stairs when he had an epiphany. He turns to me with a big grin on his face and says, "I know why you like Halloween so much! You can violate your diet!"

Gee, thanks little boy.

Of course, this is no worse than Tyler naming his bath toy after me. Except that the bath toy is a whale.

Tuesday, November 03, 2009

It was a dark and dreary day...

Ugh! It's a dark and dreary day, and it's been like that for the last two days. We're having up-north weather (only warmer). Rarely does it stay cloudy and dark like this all day. And it barely rained yesterday. If it's going to be dark like this, it could at least water the grass and fill the "lake", which is really a retention pond. This weather is killing me. I'm so sleepy it takes two energy drinks to make me functional.

At least Tyler gets to wander through the swamp on a cooler, and therefore less buggy, day. Though I'm pretty sure less buggy in a swamp means you only get half a mouthful of bugs when you open it rather than a full one. I hope he leaves the snakes alone. He discovered yesterday how cool they feel when they wind around your arm. Yes, he is aware that we have four types of poisonous snakes in Florida and one of them looks similar to the one he played with yesterday. It has a cool rhyme to go with it that lets you tell the difference, but neither of us can remember it. Something along the lines of "Red and black, friend of Jack's," something, something, something and something about leaving the poisonous fucker alone.

Friday, September 04, 2009

Another semester begins...

And I a fully prepared. I think.
Books... check
Permanent marker (to write reminders on my hand)... check
Planner (to write the assigments in that I will later write on my hand anyway)... check
XAMP installed... uh, no... guess I didn't write that on my hand. Do that tonight.
Caffeine sources... check
Highlighters (to mark up the books which then become unreturnable)... check
Paper in various forms (printer, filler, notebook... for scribbling and tearing up in fits of rage... bye-bye rainforest)... check
Spackle & other wall repair (for when the books in the wall in the same rage that destroys the rainforests)... check
Motivation (which needs to be rationed... it tends to run very low towards the end)... check
Fat ass rooted to the chair in front of computer (very useful for the online classes... however, that distraction called facebook is causing us some real problems).... check (like it's ever any different)

Ok, I'm mostly prepared. I still need very large binders, which I need for the remains of the rainforests that I print the online notes on. I swear the online classes waste more paper than the get-up-off-your-butt-and-physically-go classes

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

It's been a while

I'm not writing like I used to. I've had the entire summer off (thanks to unemployment & no $$ for school for the summer semester). Funny thing, the less I have to do, the less I wanna do. All I've done this summer is play facebook games.

Now facebook, that something us middle aged women can get behind. Not only can you find all the people you lost touch with, you can block the ones you never ever want to find touch with again. So about half the people I found, I blocked. Generally, if I wanted to stay in touch with you, there's a good chance you are programmed into my phone.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Tornadoes + Trailers = Oh Crap

The last two days were chock full of tornado warnings around here. One touched down in a trailer neighborhood (it's not a trailer park... it's like people bought lots of land and plopped down either a trailer or a house... it's all mixed) and relocated parts of some of the trailers. When they interviewed the owners of the destroyed trailers, they were all well spoken and none of them seemed to be typical trailer trash. Then one of the women interviewed looked really familiar. Then they mentioned her name. She was B&T's preschool teacher when they were 2 years old.

It's a really weird neighborhood. There will be a creepy, crappy trailer, then a rather decent house, then a fairly new double wide, then a little block house, then another creepy crappy, then a cracker shack, then another decent house.... totally devoid of any sense of order.

Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theater

I am, of course, a huge fan of Halloween. So when one of my facebook friends posted this video, I just had to inflict it on the rest of you:

Thursday, May 14, 2009

An FYI regarding my old posts

I'm leaving them as 'today's' date for a couple of days before I correct them to their original dates so I can be glad they don't poop their pants anymore. Some of these posts were actually cross posted here anyway.

It's time

I'm going to actually transfer the backups from Journalspace to here. Yes, I did have backups, but they were from a year before the disaster. But that's ok, because that's when the boys were at their most amusing. Funny how when they get bigger, belligerence and general misbehaving is no longer funny.

Sunday, March 01, 2009

The Prince of Darkness

Today was a weird weather day. This morning it was bright and sunny, then it clouded over. While folding some shirts, it suddenly got very, very dark. I asked, "Who brought the darkness?"

Brett replied, without looking up from his video game, "He did," and pointed at Tyler with his elbow.

"So, Tyler, are you the Prince of Darkness?" I asked.

"No, Ozzy Osbourne is," Tyler answered.

Then both of them chorused, "He's been the prince of darkness since 1979!"

I think they watch too much tv.

Friday, February 27, 2009

Going to the Orlando Tea Party

Since it is a weekday, and it is short notice, I'm not sure how the turnout will be. On the other hand, it is downtown and during lunch. Everything downtown is walking distance from Lake Eola, so

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

A Sorry Letter by Tyler

Tyler G.

I hit my freind in the back. It made a mark. It was redder than a baboons butt. Than I got in trouble. He told me to hit him. We had to write a sorry letter.

The End.

Mom's note: This is spelled exactly how it was in the letter. I found this tucked away in last year's student planner.

Sunday, February 08, 2009

Back on my school schedule

I'm butt deep in homework from Wednesday til Saturday. I have one class that so far is full of rather dumb assignments. I could get them all done in about 5 minutes.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009


It's below freezing here in sunny (not really) Florida. Yes. It is 31 degrees out. I am so glad I bought the boys those oversized heavy winter coats. I thought they might wear them 2-4 times a year for the next 3 years. They wore them that many times last week. The other days they required sweatshirts and jackets (layers, it's FL, usually warms up in the afternoon)

Next thing you know, I'll see snow. If it's going to be this cold, we might as well. I haven't seen actual snow, beyond a flake or two, in florida in over 20 years. At that point, I was driving to MA during a storm that pretty much blanketed the east coast.

Sorry global worming fruit loops, I didn't believe your fairy tales before, I sure as hell don't believe it now

Saturday, January 17, 2009


My fingers are having a hard time typing. I'm cold. It's only 44 degrees out here in sunny (not) warm Florida. I don't want to put the heat up, but I'm shivering. I know the sun will warm the house sooner or later (like it does all summer) but I'm not sure I will last that long LOL.

Maybe I'll go out to Dunkin Donuts for a cup of HOT coffee. Yes. That would be good. I can just hold it. Snuggle it. Caress it. Until I absorb all the heat from it. Then it will be cold enough to drink.

I'll even hold it between my feets to warm the toesies, which are rarely cold, but are now protesting me wanting to throw on flip flops for the trip to DD. Tying sneakers is just too much effort. Not that I tie them. They are perma-tied so I just jam my footsies in. But socks. Too much effort. What? My feet just told me to just stuff them in sock free. Anything to prevent being exposed to the cold in the flip flops.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Journalspace is up

I just went back and resigned up. I was just getting used to being here. I'll give it a try, maybe write in both places

Hell is in a closet

I spent two hours in the boys' closet culling toys. The boys cooperated fully. In fact, they were more than willing to part with their crap. Superheroes - gone. Cartoon guys - gone. Trains - gone. Cars - gone. Hulk hands - gone. Keyboard with microphone - gone. Happy meal toys - gone. Surprisingly enough, stuffed animals were KEEP!!! They never like them much when they were younger, but when I threatened to bag a froggy (Brett has 10 of them), he freaked. There are so many stuffed animals on their beds that there's hardly any room for them.

I kept a few of their favorites when they were younger, but the rest are in lawn and leaf bags ready for the Salvation Army. There are four and a half bags. I just don't have the motivation to sell it on ebay. I still have to go through their books and drawers and cull small clothes.

Going to the asian food store

I have a favorite one down in Orlando where I will get my month's supply of kimchee and curry (tyler's fave). I'll stop at Albertsons on the way back and pick up some Lean Cuisines which are on sale 6 for $10. I love their cabbage roll dinner. I lost 20 lbs eating them during my last days at work, and hope to lose even more.

I spent 1.5 hours on the elliptical today and I need a shower before I go. See you all later!

Monday, January 12, 2009

First Day of School (for me)

Well, here we are, another semester, another buttload of homework. I have 3 online classes and one drag my butt across town class. At least I have no writing classes this time. I figured out that that is what was making me ignore my virtual life... if I spend so much time being forced to write, I just don't want to do any writing for me.

At least the first week of class has nothing due, since this is still the add/drop period. There is one class that I think is going to be way more work than I want to deal with, but I HAVE to take it, even though I pretty much know everything they are going to teach me already. It's always the the "easy" class that loads you up with work. It's not hard work... just time consuming.

I have two other instructors who are extremely picky... but I've had them before and know what to expect. One has reasonable exams and is very picky on the projects, the other has nightmare exams (minutiae) and is a little easier on the projects as long as they are in on time.

The Drag My Butt In class is for Adobe Illustrator and I've had this instructor before too. She's extremely easy as long as you follow directions, there are no exams, just design projects. And design projects I like, even when I'm forced to do it.

Friday, January 09, 2009

A few minutes of peace

I set my alarm clock 45 minutes earlier than the boys get up. Sometimes I snooze for a few extra five minutes (snooze is at 5 min intervals) and sometimes I get my bleary eyed self up and sleepwalk the internet. I have five minutes left before I have to deal with getting the boys up and ready for school.

I used to get them up earlier, but rushing them keeps gives them less time to whine, complain and resist. Sometimes they wake up smiling, but it is rare. Most times it's with a whine, "Why can't you wake HIM up first?"

Two more minutes of peace and it's time to start the most stressful part of my day.

Monday, January 05, 2009

Evil, evil twins

I swear my blood pressure must be sky high.

I told the boys we could go to the YMCA and they could play at Club Y if they did their homework. Not only did they not bother with their homework, but they actually whined at me when I said we weren't going since their homework wasn't done. Then Brett had the nerve to try to pass of a list of spelling words as his spelling sentences homework. That was the last straw.

I am now in possession of their Wii, PS2, and both laptops. I already yanked the cable from their room at the beginning of the school year when they couldn't comprehend that bedtime meant go to freakin sleep, not watch TV until 1 AM while sitting on the floor in your bedroom.

I am so tired of this homework battle. I have decreed that they will not enjoy life (play games and go to Club Y) until they learn to do their homework without making my brain explode. Do you know how hard it is to scrape it off the walls and spackle it back in my head? I need every cell for my own homework, which begins anew next week.

Furthermore, if I have to be tortured with my own homework, I'm sure as hell going to have company. You know what they say about misery.

And here I was thinking I was going to enjoy this last week of winter break for myself.

Saturday, January 03, 2009

So that's what carpet looks like with 3 yrs of dust

I am rearranging my bedroom. Right now I have to hurdle piles of boxes to get in or out of my room. I have moved the dressers to their (almost) final locations. I need to pull the bed down off the lifts, pull it one way, vaccuum behind it, pull it the other way, vacuum behind it, then flip the orientation. While I'm at it, I'll change the bedding and put away the clean folded laundry sitting on it.

I'm debating on whether to finish it tonight or just wait until tomorrow. I already dragged out all of the stuff that was under the bed.

Oh wait. I need to feed the kidlets before Tyler eats Brett. Guess I'll just have to wait til tomorrow

Friday, January 02, 2009


This is why I will never jump out of a perfectly good airplane wearing folded bedsheet attached to a backpack with string.

Thursday, January 01, 2009

Clearance Crazies

Why is it that when people hit the Christmas clearance they all look like someone stole their anti-anxiety meds? The panicky manic looks on their faces is quite entertaining. They all look like they're afraid of missing something.

I hope I didn't look like that. Knowing me, I probably just looked pissed off.

I managed to pick up some silver snowflake ornaments today. They were 75% off. I also got a silicone bowl scraper thingiemadoo that will make an awesome icing spreader for the cupcakes I'm intending to bake. I'll have to wash all the silver glitter off it first. It shared a bag with the snowflakes, which felt it would be nice to share the glitter. I'm covered in it, my purse is covered in it, and Brett, who has the retractable umbilical cord and refused to acknowlege his birth, is also covered in it.